hooray jo!

[johemia]

;D

Here's a note to congratulate you on the fabulous fact that you may or may not find your way to an audition for a magnificent musical full of fun and good times.
Seeing as you may or may not be earning a dollar, you'd better put your head down, savage the libretto, hold it well in your head with fortitude and clarity, nail the notes to your ears with perfect pitch and diction to die for!
Keep your eyes wide and full of hope. Work your goddamn arse off! You can do it, Jo! Here's to faith! Find your way to the door - but don't put your foot in it - rip it open and get in there and then darnwell stay there.
Do it for the sake of dreams. Do it for your old friends that once had faith in you and you always adored - even the sadly neglected ones that your heart goes out to but you just can't seem to face any more of that sad stuff coz it just keeps you down. (I love you, Tez. I , I just don't know how I can help or what I can do... if only you knew what was in my heart.)
Jo, keep on your rose-coloured glasses and live for the music and joy of bringing a smile to those you can bring one to. The glasses are never gonna shatter again!
Do it for your new friends that believe in you. Do it for your old theatre mates who want you to make it.
Do it for yourself. All you gotta do is track down where it's all at, prep well and convince them that the cv is irrelevant even if you did lots of good stuff in the country. (I hate the paper work) Then strut your stuff. The rehearsals and grind and hard work is the easy bit. Dealing with the lights and music and crowd and city and world are the easy bits. The crowd and applause is the total cinchy bit. It's finding and overcoming the audition process that's the trouble. Just nail that and she'll be right! No one rings you up for a part in the city. You gotta find it.
Do it for the kids.
Do it for love.
Go out there and get 'em girl... and live for the humiliation that this ridiculous letter of congratulations will bring.

(PS. Stop saying the f word so much and have more showers. Less of that other business might help.)

[johemia]

What's going on, girl?
Are you posting nonsense to yourself, again?

"I couldn't bare to see the thread of good will left empty. Every box deserves a letter. So I wove a thread of wishes into the web and made a chooka cluck. I'd prefer it if the wishes weren't sent through a window. I don't like windows on my envelopes. They fog up the mind."

Oh, I see...so you really are insane. Talking SH1TE. hope you snap it off before you run out of breath.

"it's peaceful talk. Don't have to take frantic breaths to fan the fire of enthusiasm. Don't have to ramble madly or bob around like a marionette at the eyes of a stranger. Just calmy hunch into nargun and sit in silence. If that's insanity...well I'm going there quite frequently. No back bitching. No offence. It keeps me calm."

You're a dickhead.

"Yeh. Sometimes on the brain. What can you do. I'm a woman. I'm in my prime. I'm -"

Insane?

(silence)

"Aaah the sweet void that the mind travels to. It is a good friend to the eternal escapist. I like turning new corners."

Don't turn too many. You'll get lost.

"(Giggling) but I want to get lost. Lost is completely unpredictable. As long as that fork in the road doesn't rear up and poke me in the eye, I'm happy."

Is happiness when the dollar man comes knocking on the door? Is it when the theatre closes on your dreams?
How about when you look at a bag lady and think that might be you one day? When you've strayed around the wrong corner and lost your footing...will that be elating?

"It will still be living. Adversity makes you strong. You know you're alive if you can feel pain. "

As long as it's not all pain, johemia. As long as there are people to dance with when the moon lowers its face.

(Johemia's eyes widen and glance to the side,unfocused, looking somewhere distant...)

"One day I'll build a pool in a big backyard. I'll get a mini backhoe and carve a dam-like hole and fill it up from the run off from my roof . I'll only swim after the rain. There's never pain in the water."

You can turn that corner IF you come to it. Just keep typing, girl, keep typing.
*slap*
(closes an imaginary book.
Simultaneously, johemia is slapped across the cheek by her own hand and knocked from her chair, onto a red rug.
The computer goes into screensaver mode with random sheep jumping themselves into a bloody pulp.)

"The shag pile is always red."

[johemia]

(cut to a red sea , carrying Johemia on salty froth into the sunset.)
" floating...fat floats well...floating, pretend gloating, fat bloats well...
blood tears, salty fears of the unknown future that's dragging you down and you take the fake route from the pidgeon coupe to the black side of town. forget who you are, shooting star leaves a scar and takes you far from the state of heart where you used to play your part. Dangling, ransid, prune in a rib cage, the unpaid wage of age is the dreaming broken by the dollar man. You have to take your place in responsible rat race, working for minimum on the hard rock - what for? - some dust of power to dance with. sales. impale consumers with your hawker stabs, money grabs, for what? may aswell take a shot. of what? dollar - collar concept. inept to fill the soul void, just another unemployed. Toy. Toy. Pawn. Toy. mow your lawn. bleach your carpet. poisin mice;vermin, lice. all real things are never nice.
the chances are slim, you're gonna be sinkin..in red again...in bed again...in your head again...
keep that mind closed cos it's making the most of fooling you. dreams don't float, don't come true..one more heart hanging from a cuff, had enough, fraudulent tough. bleeding. vampires feeding...I'm just barely breathing."

Is that you, Jo? or are they your thoughts? I'm not sure what I'm hearing anymore... everythings gone strange. It's hard to hang onto hope anymore, for anyone, I know... You get older. Everyone starts dying or are dis-eased. You get bitter, cynical or lost. It happens to everyone. Ask the world.
Are you out there? I can't see for all the red. Are you out there, still? (calling) JO! Do I have to swim out? I can't see you. JO? JO!

"lost. That's what living cost...I got lost. Everyone pays a price. That's mine. Don't swim out..I'm fine. Just lost, that's all. That's why I don't call back, always. Too much pain in this world, I want to sail away."

But the sky is red, Jo. I'm scared.
Are you alright?
Too much blood tonight. don't ride away on pain. It leaves a stain. I'm frightened. Come back and drink some wine with me. I've got some Chardy! JO!

"what's that? did you mention Chardonnay? Does it come in a crystal glass and a black velour dress?
Do they serve it under a chandelier with the bourgeois of Melbourne?
I don't belong there. I'm strictly floating.
But is the colour full? Do your lips stain black in the corners? Does your breath get sharp? Does it weaken your heart?
Is there an ounce and a half of glamour in every glass?
Will your repose soften? Will it let someone in?
Will it be glorious? If I drink it will I fall asleep? Will I dream of love and fine things?"

Yes, Jo. It's a nice drop. Oaky flavour. come back and have some with me. Okey doke? don't float.
It makes me uncomfrotable when you drift away. It confuses me. I don't know if you're near or far. I don't know if you're true or false. if you're in my heart or head or somewhere else..like the real world? You're sucking me into your world, Jo. It's not nice. It's dark. It's empty...it's too god damned red. Come back. I'll pull two bottles from the rack. They're dusty, you know. You can deal with the hangover tomorrow...you know you're still alive if you've got a hangover.

" I'm lost. It's almost glorious...I've almost found it. I'm hostage to drifting thoughts..."

That's it. I'm coming in to get you...

"You've already got me. The further you wade, the further I sail. There's no keeping up with wandering of the fantastic. Don't try. You won't find me."

(a long shot reveals the sea parting for the wine bearer. riding on the fork of the parting sea, on a carpet, Jo smiles inanely at the sky. She is sprayed in the face with the red waters as she tears the hem of her dress and wraps it around her head like a turban.
The wine bearer sees her through the spray and begins to run. The water runs dry and the carpet rises into the air above. )

Laughing hysterically. "haha! Told you! I'm out of reach!
No one can touch me. I can't touch you. I'm icy like the wind! I can't feel you from here...I'm too high, but I'm free. I can almost see the other side of the moon. It's blue. Who needs wine when you can fly into time?"

jO! tHAT'SIT! i'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS BULLSH1T! You're coming back down, now! Red, blue, who cares what colour it is? You can't manage time, anyway, it'll fly right by you! Bloody hell, Jo!

I just want someone to drink with...

"Ha! Drink to me, not with me. I'm untouchable!"


CUT TO OTHER SIDE OF PLANET WHERE A SKUD MISSILE IS BEING LAUNCHED.

CUT BACK TO THE RED NIGHT SKY. NO SIGHT OF THE FLYING CARPET.

CUT TO DRIED SEA.
Jo? Are you still there? Jo? .......Jo?
(silence)
She never should have looked so deep into Jimmy's eyes. Skin is grey, whites are green, veins are thick and blue. Too much colour.

(voice from nowhere)
"he gave me something. I don't know what it was but it rushed with a force into my chest. something strange and unknown. I could feel it. I don't want to feel anything anymore..."

she wasn't that close to Jimmy.

"too many good people. Only the innocent. They pile up."

[Buff]

Buff

[johemia]

It's alright, Buff. I often make people go .
I'm a wasted woman.